Psycho-Spiritual Healing Sessions, Books, CDs, and Workshops



Infinite Connections
is based on a worldview that assumes the ”WHOLENESS” of all of us, which means that each of us—whether we know it or not—has within us, body, mind, and spirit aspects that are inseparably one, and each aspect is a reflection of the others. When we know this truth and experience it, wholeness allows us to appreciate and love ourselves, to feel a loving connection with others and have honor and respect for our interconnection with the planet. When we are experiencing our wholeness, we know our infinite and inseparable connection with the universe, which is the visible expression of the invisible, called by some the all mighty, the creator, the force, or the source, by others, Spirit, Christ Consciousness, Allah, Jehovah, God, or by still others, the-Alpha-the-Omega, The Beginning and the End, the I AM, the Spark of God, Universal God Essence, or simply expressed, The One who has loved us from the very beginning.

However, few of us experience this wholeness continually, if at all; many do not know that a connection exists… or they feel disconnected from wholeness but have no idea how to reconnect. Because of the disconnection from the experience of wholeness, life is often experienced as if something important is missing, which can cause us to suffer physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in turmoil, trauma, and trouble in our lives.

Our vision is to provide support for the transformation of individual and collective human experience of life, from one of separation and disconnection to living life  consciously and experientially in wholeness. Whether a person is experiencing any form of suffering only now and then, or on an ongoing basis, our goal is to assist the alleviation of any of the forms of suffering through providing direction in reconnection with the experience of wholeness.

We believe that suffering, in any of its forms, originates in the experience of separation of the mind/body from spirit followed by the experience of separation of mind and body from each other; and even separations within the mind and among parts of the body. The separation experience replicates itself over-and-over again in our personal, interpersonal, and collective lives and histories. Infinite Connections is committed to providing information and offering programs that assist individuals, couples, families, groups, and humanity in transformational healing by the effective release of the belief in separation. This transformation alleviates the experience of suffering by reintegrating all forms of separation in and between body/mind and spirit with the ultimate purpose of living consciously from wholeness.

This transformation often requires a personal and often painful journey through the experiences that created the belief in separation, to bring awareness of wholeness into the suffering. This journey can lead a person from a life filled with ongoing pain to, at least, a generally fulfilled life in which suffering is only short-lived and transitional, and at best, to the greater state of “Non-Suffering” experienced by those who find the higher state of enlightenment. To experience this transformation, the pain cannot be ignored, denied, or hidden, but must be accepted and transformed with the deepest truth. Our goal is to honor the experience of suffering, transform it, and provide support and guidance for those who choose to take this journey to Wholeness.


  1. The Universe is a unity, infinitely eternal and eternally infinite…it is conscious, alive, love-filled, and intrinsically friendly.
  2. As living parts of this living whole, we can experience a life filled with infinite connections to the consciousness of the whole and experience universal love…unless we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to believe that the Universe is not whole, it is not conscious, alive, or loved filled; and it is not friendly; believing it is not so will simply cause us not to experience what it offers.
  3. Everything in this amazing and infinite universe is connected with every other thing in the universe…with infinite connections to the consciousness of each part and all, connected to the eternal life and love, whether we choose to access it or not, or believe in the connection or not. If we choose to not access or believe in this kind of universe, we prevent ourselves from experiencing it.
  4. If we choose to believe in separation, the loving universe gives us what we believe, to allow us to decide if we want to keep on believing in what we have chosen. We can experience the world as an object that swirls in space and that exists without its own pulse of life; one that is hostile, dangerous, disconnected, death threatening or dead, and we can feel ourselves as someone who is separate and existentially alone, living with something deeply missing inside us, until we decide we don’t want to believe in separation anymore.
  5. Since we are all connected, everything we do impacts everyone, whether we choose to recognize it, or not. What happens to one part of the universe influences everything else in existence, no matter how infinitesimally small, even if we pretend that it does not.
  6. The Universe operates on the power of the pulse of life-force, a unified energetic essence moving through everything, and in everything and is itself the essence of everything in existence, seen and unseen. The pulse is eternally extending and contracting, like the pulse of the breath, the pulse of the heart, the pulse of life itself.
  7. Because our infinite connection is eternally true, separation can be understood as an illusion, an interpretation of some original experience that felt as if separation were real, and something to be feared and resisted or as something to be desired and sought.
  8. Our biological, personal, familial-genetic, cultural, social, national, and species histories have been formed by the conflicting interactions of these two positions within the false beliefs of separation: one, that separation is something to be feared or, two, that separation is something to be sought. Entire lifetimes can be spent struggling to connect, not knowing that connection is already true or struggling to escape connection, something that can never be done, but the belief that separation can be achieved creates the drive to separate.
  9. We will continue to live the patterns and effects of conflict created by the interaction of these two positions (desperate attachment or desperate escape) until we find our way back to experiencing the truth of who we are in relationship to each other and to the One Wholeness.
  10. Each of us carries a universe within us as vast and interconnected as the universe of which we are a part. The more we are willing to discover and seek understanding regarding our inner universe, the more we will discover about and gain a greater understanding of the universe we identify as being external to us.
  11. Just like the trillions of our cells in our bodies, each of which is unique and significant, and just of the cells of our bodies have been learning how to live as one human person, so too, humanity is made up of billions of people—each of which is unique and significant, too—and, though it may not look like it, we are trying to learn how to live as one. We are all on a path of discovery that we are part of all that is in existence…of billions of solar systems, star systems, and galaxies, that comprise our universe…and, perhaps, multiple universes, each a part of the Magnificent One.  Some people believe we will destroy ourselves before we learn this. That is not the perspective of Infinite Connections because on the highest plane, the essence of who we truly are is eternal, and if humanity destroys itself, the essence of we are will continue to seek a path for integration of our essence with physical expression. It is up to us to determine if we will continue this process as humans or start over in some other form.






Sandy Sela-Smith, Ph.D., M.A, CHT

Dr. Montague Ullman, MD.9-9-1916 to 6-7-2008

          Five simple words, “If this were my dream…” create the foundation of the Ullman process of Dream Appreciation, one of the most profound instruments I have found to unlock the messages in dreams—and more. I was privileged to participate in three dreamwork training weekends  in the 1990s with the late Dr. Ullman (Ullman, 1996, 1999; Ullman, Krippner & Vaughn, 2002; Ullman & Zimmerman, 1979), affectionately called Monte. He began his career as a psychiatrist but soon discovered the power of working with dreams and dedicated his life to teaching a method that allows the dreamer, as well as dream group participants, to access the deepest recesses of the unconscious, an arena of our psyche so often unavailable to us in waking consciousness.

Ullman believed that there is a species consciousness that is calling for our personal and collective survival and drawing us toward our on-going evolution to oneness. Each of us, according to Ullman’s philosophy, contains billions of single-celled organisms that have, over time, evolved into collectives that eventually specialized into organs, systems, and functions of a single body, and that these collectives have learned to live as one. He speculated that as a species, we are replicating the learning process that transformed billions of cells into one person, which will lead to transforming several billions of people into a consciousness of one. Just as the human being cannot survive if cells become self-destructive or attack other life-giving cells within the body, the species cannot survive if we, as individuals or as social groups, destroy others or ourselves with destructive patterns. I interpret this to mean that for us to survive, just like our cells have done, human beings must learn to respect life both individually and collectively. We must honor boundaries without creating impermeable walls, be distinct without separating, connect with each other without absorbing or being absorbed, experience our uniqueness without cutting ourselves off from the universality of our oneness, and be flexible without collapsing as we change and grow.

We must actively share, nurture, love, and allow each and all to survive and thrive. However, in our development, as individuals, and in social units, we have formed patterns that are a danger to ourselves and to our species. Ullman suggested species consciousness, perhaps something akin to Jung’s collective unconscious, or what I have identified as Universal God Essence, is the force that seeks to bring into awareness those behavior patterns that can lead to destruction. Dreaming is one of the languages of that universal consciousness. Ullman and Zimmerman (1979) contended:

The dreamer in us keeps urging us on to greater wholeness. . . .Dreams never give up on us. They are with us every night urging us to face the issues that restrict and discourage us, or that limit our inventiveness. (pp. 318-319)

In Appreciating Dreams, Ullman (1996) stated:

From an evolutionary point of view, there may be another role that our biology plays in connection with our dreams. I think dream-work brings us into closer touch with a vital aspect of our natural animal heritage. Animals depend for survival on the accuracy and truthfulness of their sensorially-perceived world. That dependency is still with us in our effort to adapt to a still imperfect human environment. The task is a bit more difficult for us because of the pitfalls and falsehoods that our cultural heritage has subjected us to. To the extent that we are victimized by false notions, we are not free to truly fulfill ourselves. Asleep and dreaming, we are in pursuit of freedom in those areas that have eluded us while awake. The relationship between freedom and truth is the driving force of our dreams. (p. 243)

Picture, if you will, a group of people coming together who are interested in understanding their dreams. It is possible that no one has met anyone else in the group, and yet, by the end of a process, it is likely they will feel as if they have known each other their whole lives. In a short period of time, someone or maybe several of the members will have shared a dream with the group. There will have been careful listening, questioning, and each will have had the opportunity to take the dream that is presented as if it were their own. Feelings and metaphors within the dream will have been explored, and meanings orchestrated. There will be a bond that connects the participants through space and time, simply because they dared to look into the darkness, step into it, and discover what was there for them.

Group work, which often makes intimate matters public, is important, according to Ullman, (1979, 1996, 1999) because it allows the dreamer to use the eyes of the group to see aspects of the self that have been hidden. The waking self often is self-deceptive and afraid to see deeper truths. To be effective, the group must provide a non-judgmental, loving environment for the dreamer to expose those intimate matters and safely explore them. The dreamer must remain in charge of the process and be able to stop, limit sharing, or go only as deeply as can be handled. Both the dreamer and the participants have the opportunity to use the dream to discover messages from species-level consciousness and apply those messages to their own lives. And it all begins when each is willing to say: “If this were my dream.” This begins the process of what the dream master called Dream Appreciation.

The steps of the process

In Ullman’s (1979, 1996, 1999) plan, there is no expert interpreter in dream appreciation. Instead, the rich collective life-experience of the members provides an array of multiple levels and diverse viewpoints for many possible interpretations. A group learns the process from one who has been trained in the method; after providing instructions in the process, the teacher-leader then takes a place in the group as a participant. Dream presentation is always voluntary and after appropriate training, leadership is also voluntary. Each dream appreciation session begins by soliciting a volunteer for leadership; at the outset it often may be the trainer, but in time it might be someone else. If more than one person volunteers to lead the group, those volunteering are to decide who will lead. When the leader is selected, the leader asks if there is anyone who wants to present a dream. If there is more than one who wishes to present a dream, those who volunteered, decide among themselves who will be the dream-presenter in that session. According to Ullman, determining leadership and dream presentation are models of volunteerism, democracy, and on-going choice, all characteristics inherent in the dream process itself.

In the first stage, the dreamer (a) reads or tells the dream while group members write it down, or read along if the dreamer has provided a copy of the dream beforehand. The dream can be a single image or an entire story; processing can take two or more hours. Upon completion of the reading, (b) the group members are free to ask specific questions about the dream for clarification without asking for interpretation or meanings. This might include clarification about the content of the dream, objects in the dream, feelings in the dream, colors, textures, or anything else that will bring out what was actually a part of the dream that was possibly missed in the dreamer’s narrative. The dreamer is not to contextualize or interpret meanings at this point but is to reflect images, interactions, and feelings within the dream only. By allowing only dream content, participants are able more easily to take the dream into their own personal contexts. Participants can take a moment to fully embrace the dream as their own.

The second stage begins when the first group member says, “If this were my dream…”, which is a statement that signals this person has taken on the dream as if he or she had dreamed it. Participants, who take the dream as their own, share thoughts and feelings about images and metaphors with the group. These thoughts are not directed to the dreamer. Any group member wishing to take the dream can participate as if the dream were his or her own. The diversity of contributions offers many possible interpretations for the dreamer to consider as he or she explores the potential hidden messages.

There are five parts of the third stage that Ullman listed as a-e. As in every stage, the dreamer is fully in charge of how deep and how far he or she is willing to go. At any time during the process, the dreamer can end the dream processing. In part (a) the dreamer takes back the dream and may respond to anything that came into awareness as a result of hearing others’ comments. This is followed by part (b) in which the leader asks the dreamer if he or she wishes to go deeper in gaining greater meaning by investigating further through recapturing the events that occurred the day or evening before the dream or the thoughts that were present just before going to sleep prior to the dream. After every aspect and symbol of the dream has been examined for possible meanings in the context of the dreamer’s life, part (c) allows the dream to be read back to the dreamer by someone the dreamer asks to read it or by someone who volunteers, and is approved by the dreamer. The dream is read back exactly as the dreamer first presented it, scene by scene, stopping for any additional insight from the dreamer when appropriate. Group members are then asked to offer what Ullman called orchestrating projections, which is part (d) of stage three. In this part of the third stage, participants provide meaningful interpretations of the dream-as-a-whole that link the dream and the waking-reality of the dreamer. Finally, in part (e) the dreamer is given the opportunity to make any last comments.

The fourth stage takes place if the group meets again. The dreamer from the previous dream group meeting is given an opportunity to present any additional insights regarding the dream in the intervening period before the group delves into a new dream appreciation process.

The Responsibilities

Forming, leading, presenting, and participating in a dream group requires attention to a number of responsibilities if integrity is to be maintained. Above all else, the dreamer is to be in control of the process, deciding how deep to go, how much to disclose, and whether or not to advance into each stage. If for any reason at any time in the process the sense of safety feels threatened, the dreamer can stop the process and after expressing the need to stop, can choose to continue or end the process. Recognizing the tension that might exist between safety and discovery, the group and group leader can encourage stretching just a bit beyond the comfort level if the dreamer is willing.

Always, a high degree of sensitivity is required to nudge the dreamer without pushing too hard or too far. It is often in the thoughtful nudge that great insight occurs while a thoughtless push can devastate the dreamer and destroy the process.

The leader has dual roles. One is to be a participant; the other is to take responsibility for directing the process according to the stages. This must be done with clarity, flow, and flexibility in a way that honors the needs of the dreamer and appreciates the delicacy, yet, the power of the process. The leader is to be sensitive to the feelings of both the dreamer and group members. At times, it may be necessary to stop the process to clarify or give the dreamer or an affected participant time to recover from emotional responses. All of this must be allowed to flow gracefully within whatever time has been allotted for the work.

Group participants have responsibilities as well. They contribute most meaningfully and gain from the process, themselves, when they are fully present and participating by listening with attention and with an intention to experience the dream in thought and feeling. Through “borrowing the dream,” the participant is free to make projections based on what is publicly known about the dreamer, or with the dreamer’s permission if privately known, or based on memories from the participant’s own life without taking the focus away from the dreamer. Participants can be attentive to possible themes, contradictions, or metaphoric meanings, and notice not only what seems present but also what seems absent. It is valuable to notice places that seem to have a charge or to notice when a charge would be expected, but none is present. All of this must be done without judgment and with sensitive concern for the safety of the dreamer.

Finally, every aspect of the dream itself must be honored as significant communication from the unconscious. A single image, a two-liner, or a multi-phased dream contains a message that was important enough for the dreaming part of the self–connected to species consciousness–to send. It deserves to be respected and heard.

The Power of the Process

In the many years, I have participated in Dr. Ullman’s dream group process at Saybrook with Stanley Krippner and with Dr. Ullman, himself, with groups of my own, and with clients, I have come to deeply respect the potential for transformational healing and self-discovery. In the years of doing dreamwork, dreamers and participants have been able to face their demons, discover their blind spots, find answers to troubling dilemmas, and understand circumstances in their lives that previously may have seemed unexplainable. Not only does the dreamer benefit from deeply hidden unconscious thoughts, feelings, or beliefs that have come forward, but also, the participants benefit significantly. It is not uncommon for someone else’s dream to trigger great awakenings in participants. The persistence of species consciousness, which seems to push messages into our awareness despite individual or group resistance, is amazing.

My interest in discovering connections caused me to notice that often in dream groups, questions that were raised in the content of the first dream seemed to be answered by the second dream, and understanding the second dream was made possible within the context of the first. I also noticed this same process going on between dream groups in which I was the only repeat participant. Thematic connections made between the groups not only clarified dreams in the later group but brought deeper insights into a past dream group’s theme for me. Whatever this energetic connective tissue is that flows between cells forming a single person seems to flow among individuals forming a palpable energetic relationship that exists in groups and between groups. Perhaps species consciousness is somehow in this as yet unexplainable connectivity that makes itself known when we are willing to look for it.

The dissolution of boundaries between dreams and dream group experiences also drew my attention. I recall being greatly surprised the first time I realized that a dream was literally, though unconsciously, being replicated in the group process. A woman presented a dream in which she experienced herself walking along a busy thoroughfare pulling a cart filled with a heavy load. She forced her way ahead of everyone else and created a traffic jam by stopping in the middle of an intersection. The dreamer held her fist in defiance to the blocked angry drivers who began throwing things at her while she was calling attention to the fact that she did not have a car, but rather was pulling her load without help. She woke from the dream feeling distressed and unappreciated.

In the dream group, she pressed ahead of other dreamers to insist that she have the opportunity to present her dream. Others who wanted to present their dreams gave in to what they took as her demanding request, but not without creating a current of anger and resistance within the group. They did not seem to support her with full engagement in the process. Instead, they threw out suggestions of interpretations that did not seem useful to her. She found herself dealing with the content of her dream by herself. She continued by making her own interpretations about the meaning of her dream within the context of her recent experiences without incorporating anything that the group had offered. In a moment of profound insight, she became silent, looked around the room, and broke into tears. She realized she had done the same thing in the group that she had done in her dream. She could see that the attitude she expressed had generated anger and a lack of support both in her dream and in the dream group members that very moment. For the first time in her life, she understood long held patterns that caused her to believe she had to carry her burdens all by herself. Her breakthrough melted her resistance and the heart of the group. Everyone became willing to help her when she finally got out of her own way by getting out of their way and allowed them to be moved to support her in her breakthrough. What a powerful metaphor this was.

When I decided to write this paper, I could have selected any number of dreams, but this particular one came to mind and I literally could not remember any of the other dreams I had worked with over the years. By recalling this dream, several years after it was presented, I began to see something I was not in a place to understand at the time that I attended that dream group. I have had a strong, almost rigid tendency to carry my burdens all by myself, always working without a sense of connection to a group. I lived most of my life, within my family of origin and within my marriage, very much alone. I moved to China alone; my private therapy practice was conducted alone. Even my selection of an at-a-distance program for my Ph.D. was a reflection of my living the metaphor within the woman’s dream. Most of my courses in graduate school were completed without ever asking assistance from professors. My independence resulted in conflict with a couple of professors, which caused a delay in receiving credit for my work.

As I looked at this pattern, I noticed that working alone seemed to have been choice-less. Some inner belief made me do most everything alone. There have been times when working alone has been helpful, and there still may be such times in the future this could be true, but there are also times when I needed to be able to work cooperatively within a group. Working in isolation may not have been damaging in the past; however, there is no empirical evidence to support that conclusion. It did become a disadvantage to disallow other options.

It is my belief that recalling and using this particular dream at this particular time is no accident. I deeply feel that a loving consciousness has called me to release patterns that would prevent me from becoming who I came here to be. I am being drawn to a new way, connecting and working with others. Somehow, I believe that as changes are made by each of us on a microcosmic level, resonating sounds of doors opening somewhere out there in the universe are heard that might lead to macrocosmic changes for the species.

Probably the most far-reaching aspect of having dream group awareness was my discovery the dream process can be applied to lived experiences, as well. I became aware that events in people’s waking lives had many of the same characteristics as dreams. When taking notes on clients’ “stories,” I discovered I could pay attention to all the details with the same attention I held as a participant in a dream group. I examined the setting the client reported, looked for themes, noticed tensions, and observed contradictions. I looked for metaphoric potential. I looked for what seemed missing, perhaps emotional responses or pieces that didn’t seem to connect because something was left out. I listened for a sense of story, a belief or myth that might be playing itself out in the person’s life. I noticed the play on words that were embedded in the telling of the story. I even noticed each of the people the client talked about and began to look for aspects of the client that seemed to be reflected in the characters who “peopled” their report. I could take their stories into my life, and experience them as if they were my own, and notice my own responses. I approached the client’s story with the same kind of non-judgmental, loving, respect, as in dream work. As I orchestrated projections, clients began to gain profound insight and make significant and immediate changes. I am reminded of a report told by Salk (1983), the developer of the polio vaccine. He said:

Very early in my life, I would imagine myself in the position of the object in which I was interested. Later, when I became a scientist, I would picture myself as a virus, or as a cancer cell, for example, and try to sense what it would be like to be either. I would also imagine myself as the immune system, and I would try to reconstruct what I would do as an immune system engaged in combating a virus or cancer cell. . . Before long, this internal dialogue became second nature to me. (p.7)

I believe it is this consciousness Salk referenced that is entered in dream group work or in working with clients. Asking clients to look at an issue as if it were a dream and by joining them in the dream by taking it on as if it were mine, we step back to see what is really going on, looking for the myths and belief systems through which they create their lives. The clients recognize that they have a choice regarding what myths direct their lives and whether or not they will take responsibility for that choice.

I have the choice of interpreting events in my life as a dream and all the participants in the events as characters who hold messages from the greater consciousness, just as I can fill that role in their lives should they choose. I can ask myself the same questions a leader or a participant would ask a dreamer and listen to possible orchestrating projections. More than any other method, the Ullman dream appreciation process has helped me to take responsibility for all that occurs in my life. I am learning to look at my life as I look at dreams, without judgment, blame, or guilt. I notice that on some level everything that comes into my life is a result of my personal myths whether I am consciously aware of them or not. I can choose to be responsible, meaning I can choose to respond. In making the choice of taking responsibility for what I create, I can also move to a place where I consciously create what I choose.

Playing on the words of an old favorite Disney song from “Cinderella,” I would say A life is a dream your heart makes…when you are fast asleep. Awaken to the dream.



Salk, J. (1983). Anatomy of reality. New York, NY: Columbia University Press.

Ullman, M. (1996). Appreciating dreams: A group approach. London, England:  Sage.

Ullman, M. (1999). Variety of dream experiences. (2nd Ed.) New York, NY: State U. of New York Press.

Ullman, M. Krippner, S., & Vaughn. (1973/2002) Dream telepathy: Experiments in nocturnal extrasensory perception (Studies in consciousness). Charlottesville, VA: Hampton Roads.

Ullman, M. & Zimmerman, N. (1979). Working with dreams: Self-understanding, problem solving, and enriched creativity through dream appreciation. New York, NY: G.P. Putnam’s Sons.

Bio-2016:  Dr. Sandy Sela-Smith is a psychotherapist, living in Conifer, Colorado, but practicing with clients throughout the US and worldwide. She is an adjunct professor at Saybrook University, an editor of professional writing, and an author of a number of articles and books, including her most recent trilogy, The Meaning of Three: The Mask, Behind the Mask, and Under the Mask. She specializes in using psychodynamic therapeutic processes to support clients and readers to reconnect with the true self and in doing so to connect with species and universal consciousness. Dr. Sela-Smith is an international speaker and conducts dream workshops, empowerment workshops, and group processing throughout the country. E-Mail:, Web: