Language has become the most common way for our species to explain experience; however when we attempt to use words to explain the most meaningful experiences, words, too often, fall short of communicating the wholeness of the experience and are more like splintered, shattered, and scattered shards of a reflection in a mirror. Because LOVE in its wholeness cannot be confined or defined by a word, our shard-like attempt to explain something beyond words falls greatly short.
If we are fortunate–or perhaps blessed–we might experience a few microseconds of wholeness , moments that are sparingly sprinkled in “uncaptureable” wisps of love that allow us to experience knowing beyond the shard, beyond the mirror, beyond the image in the mirror, into the fullness of eternal love inside the heart of our eternal selves.
After an encounter with LOVE in its wholeness, a love that opens us to all of who we are, some of us spend the rest of our lives attempting to remember, to define, to recapture or re-experience what cannot be re-experienced, cannot be captured, defined, or fully remembered from the finite place of our shard-like existence. Like the river that one steps into that cannot be stepped into the same way again, the experience of Love cannot be re-experienced the same way ever again. It is a gift in the moment, yet when we are willing to open ourselves, we can receive one gift of love after another until the sparingly sprinkled moments become overflowing rivers that fill our lives, transforming every experience we encounter into ever expanding rivers of love that allow us to flow in love’s amazing presence for longer and longer periods of time.
After we first encounter real love–but before we find our way to transformation that can lead us into extended if not full-time experience of love–we can feel frustration because we can also know what is not real or is close but not quite real, and we try to make what is not real or not quite real become real.
We fall in love and for a little while experience love when we feel that depth of our being that we did not know before was possible, but something happens that pulls us out of the experience and into the feeling of disconnection, and then we try to force it to be like what we remember experiencing when we touched our wholeness and experienced love from that wholeness. We don’t realize that after the feeling of wholeness, we started to interpret our interaction with the focus of our love from the limited awareness of the shard of glass-awareness and disconnected from wholeness. As an attempt to reconnect, we might read about love and try to act as if we are being loving. We work out definitions as a way to compare how we are living with the definition. But all attempts lead to more disconnection.
Though love can be experienced in an action it is not the action. Though love can be experienced while in a state of understanding, it is not in the understanding. Love is a state of being that can be in the flash of a momentary awareness though it is not contained by the state or held in the moment, And it can be in an ongoing awareness that exists in the eternal now though love is not the awareness.
Love, in its wholeness, does not occur because of intention or understanding…it bubbles up when we experience ourselves in our wholeness, despite the fact that we are a shard, a splintered piece of the whole. The gift of being alive in our human form is that we can have those most profoundly blessed moments of knowing our wholeness when the shard knows itself as the whole and experiences that wholeness, not only in itself, but in another shard, as well…an Aha moment.
I was writing these words…about the Aha moment…when the phone rang.
The person on the other end of the line was a dear client who disrupted my thinking and writing when she “stepped into my river of thought” by her call. In the moment of disruption, I noticed the day and time on my cell phone…it was 7-11, 11:11. My heart swelled with joy. From my early childhood, I have loved seeing 11:11. And seeing 11, 11:11 has been a special gift, seldom seen in my life. Somehow, 11:11 has always connected me to my internal experience of my God Essence in connection with the One, with Universal God Essence. If my client had not called, I would most likely have missed that special moment that happens 24 times a year but most of those times goes by unexperienced by me because I am involved in other things. The joy does not happen if I plan to look at the clock on the 11th day of the month and wait to watch 11:10 turn to 11:11.
In that moment of seeing 7-11, 11:11 on my phone as I answered the call, I was so filled with love and delight I couldn’t help but express that non-choreographed joy to my client by sharing the time and date with her, and then explained that 11:11 has always been magical for me. She commented that those numbers had meant something magical to a friend and in time she learned to delight in seeing 11:11, as well, especially because it reminded her of that friend.
Still in an expanded state of love and delight, I told her the previous call I had that morning ended at 11:00 on the 11th of July, the day that would have been my mother’s 97th birthday. Despite the fact that my mother’s life was not filled with what most people would see as lucky, she believed 7-11 was lucky for her. On so many past birthdays, my mother would smile and repeat her belief that her birthday brought her good luck like the “7 come 11” call that gamblers often shouted out as they shook the dice to bring victory in dice-throwing games. Seeing the 7-11, 11:00, just 11 minutes before when the previous call ended, provided a special moment with my mother who died 9 months ago.
The moment I hung up from that previous call and saw the 7-11, 11:00 on my cell phone, I turned my attention to the woman called Laura who became my mother so long ago, and told her how much I loved her; just thinking of her flooded my heart, my whole body, with an outpouring of love that caused everything in me to melt into love as I connected with her essence. As I spoke with her, my heart expressed a wish that she will be born into her next family, with parents who will be able to see the wonder of her soul, that will nurture her and allow her to become the beautiful being that she is, an experience she did not have in her 96 years in the life that ended last October. My mother had grown up believing she needed to protect herself from pain, from sadness, and from harm with so many layers of patterns that were not expressions of her true self. In previous days as I was thinking about the upcoming anniversary of her birth, 97 years ago, I had felt waves of sadness that she had spent most of her life in pain. There was little evidence of her knowing the beauty of herself and the wonder of love in her life. But this morning as I thought of her and connected with her essence through the love that filled me, I felt none of the sadness that had been so present in the days before. All I felt was love.
On this special day…July 11, at 11:11…as I answered the phone, my whole being was in the kind of moment I had just written about. I, the little shard of a mirror of the One, experienced an indescribable joy of connection with the fullness of eternal love. What was so amazing is that this understanding of love was exactly what my client needed to hear as she was wrestling with heart issues. It was all so perfect…and exactly as it needed to be.
Each of us has his or her own version of 11:11 that reminds the heart that it can open to love. And, when we allow ourselves to be open to the reminder in the message…it will come to us exactly when we need to reconnect with who we truly are, and in that moment, our false self can melt and we can become the Love that fills the universe.
Tears of joy are in my eyes as I write about the experience and the beauty that is here for me…for us…for the little shard that each of us is…and how expansive is that joy, that fullness of being and expressing the presence of that love. I am so grateful to have seen the invitation from a Linkedin’s Psychology Network site this morning to read a discussion about the meaning of love…before the call that ended at 11:00 and before the call that began at 11:11 on the 11th of this glorious day in July.
Love is…and so are we…if we choose.
heart shaped images found on all-free-download.com.